I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
