Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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