question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
