Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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