Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....