I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
