He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.