you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I bet he comes in French.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
