thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
