Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
