I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Randomize
