I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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