you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
