Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
