covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
