I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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