everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
