Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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