Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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