i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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