This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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