How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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