no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize