I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
