You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Randomize
