if only i could text you this smell
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize