I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
