can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
