she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize
