yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
