i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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