I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
It's blow job season.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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