The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
