She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
