I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
