4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
