Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
