Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
