This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
