Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
