there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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