There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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