the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
