I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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