I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
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Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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