wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
