I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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