Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize
