is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
