She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
