oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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