i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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