I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
