As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm sobbing to NWA
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
