look no pants
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
