he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize