Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
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