If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
