Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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