just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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