Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize