I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i came on her dog
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
