Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
The air was thick with penises
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
